A Question from My Client - Business Owner, Executive: Accept vs. Eliminate?

Copyright@2011 MiriamGroup Executive Advisors
A client of mine sent an email while going through some physical challenges and asked the following…

“When do we accept it (what’s going on in life) and when do we look for the root of it so it can be eliminated?  Or do we do both?”

My reply was …

"Good question.

Sometimes it is not about letting go or eliminating a behavior or reaction, but about accepting what is without judgment. (and it is challenging when you aren’t feeling well).

Remember it’s only temporary.

And, acceptance isn’t resignation. Think about it. Acceptance is recognition of what is or what is happening at the moment from a place of neutrality.  It is only in a place of neutrality that that we can make useful decisions and choices. 

When we react to or judge a situation we are coming from a place of lack and a belief or beliefs based on memories of the past or fantasies of the future – neither are the current situation. 

With acceptance we are in a place of neutrality – you do not feel the weight of resignation nor the lightness of loving.  Only neutrality – something just is at this moment.  That’s all. Neutrality is the beginning of empowering energy.

It doesn’t take deep analysis to let go.  Deep analysis only continues focus on what you do not want in your life. Focus on what you want at all times. If your current life experience is what you want – Great!  If not, determine what it is you do want and focus on the life experience you do want or have.

When you react – stop yourself by saying “I don’t want this.” Then refocus on what you do want and take action from there.  At the point of stopping an apparently automatic reaction and only at that point do you have a choice.   It is when we awaken, when we become aware that we have any real choice at all.  The rest of the time we are running on programming.

Letting go happens when we focus our attention, energy, thoughts on what we want. Our beliefs and judgments keep us stuck in our programming.

The thoughts, neurological pathways and actions fade away when focusing on what we want.  We start acting and living from that clear vision.  And then with practice that vision becomes your reality.  

You may have an experience of one day thinking “I haven’t done a thing but this is no longer happening” or “I no longer feel this way”.  When all along you have been making choices and taking action in support of what you want and it has become your norm.

You have learned to identify the things you don’t want first - limiting beliefs and etc – in order to learn to how to stop sending energy to what you don’t want and refocus your thoughts and energy on what you do want.

 Until you are conscious that you have been judging and have limiting beliefs about an issue, it is difficult to see there is a need to refocus on what you want. 

From there you move to letting go from the clear realization of what you do want. Identifying all the limiting beliefs isn’t necessary when you learn what you want and how to put all your energy into what you want.  And, it takes practice. 

And, most of the world is focused on lack. So it takes a conscious effort to make it become a new habit or way of being for you.  And, everyone benefits from you."